Always
by FandaticForeverAndAlways
Summary: Severus Snape was in love with only one girl, woman, throughout his life. His love was extends from his childhood to his death. She was truly the love of his existence. He continued to love her, even if she never returned his feelings.


**Disclaimer: JKR owns it all**

**Always doesn't belong to me, it's just an inspiration**

**Thanks to in-dreams-maybe for cleaning it up! =)**

**Written for Song-fic Boot Camp**

**Prompt27: ****Always, Always by Bon Jovi**

**Written for Favorite Character Boot Camp**

**Prompt2: ****Time**

**Written for Bookshelf Competition**

**Prompt: **_Write about someone hiding his/her real identity and/or personality from the others._

**Summary: Severus Snape was in love with only one girl, woman, throughout his life. His love was extends from his childhood to his death. She was truly the love of his existence. He continued to love her, even if she never returned his feelings. **

**PS: I have used a song called Always by Bon Jovi, I would recommend you to listen to it while you read. This song is MADE for Severus Snape. Even the title says it all! So, please, if not now, do listen to it later. **

**I had always been hoping to write a story for Severus with this song, and now I finally have. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Always**

Lily Evans, she was the love of his life,_ literally_. Without him realizing, Severus Snape had fallen in love with her ever since he was ten.

She was different from others. Admittedly, at first she had been hesitant, but only because she didn't know him. And she didn't make fun of him like the rest of them; she defended him- by standing up to her own sister even though she didn't know him. At first, it had been her magic that had attracted him to her; he had been shocked that a Muggleborn had so much talent. The control she had over it sometimes seemed more than what he had over his magic and the most surprising thing was that she was a Muggleborn. And it should have bothered him at first, but it didn't. He didn't look down at her for being a Muggleborn, in fact, that was the last thing he related her to. To him, she was just Lily Evans, the girl with whom he wanted to be friends with.

While the rest of the children made fun of his old baggy clothes, his jet black hair, and even the way he spoke, Lily was different. She didn't laugh at him, tease him, or embarrass him by calling names. No, she spoke to him as if he was her friend, she asked him about his family, and even listened to his stories with rapt attention. Of course she interrupted him with an infinite number of questions many times, but he didn't mind. Instead, it made him happy. He was _interesting_ to her, and that was all that mattered.

He knew he was dull, but Lily made him feel anything but that. She herself was a bundle of joy, always smiling, always cheerful, and always making others laugh. Her bright red hair gave her a vibrant look, and her extremely green eyes, they were the windows to her soul.

Lily Evans was not just any girl, she was his best friend.

And by some weird freakish miracle, she considered him as her best friend.

Oh yes, he cared and loved her. Even at that tender age, he was ready to do anything she asked.

Severus Snape loved her; she was his reason for happiness. She was the bright star in his darkness.

* * *

Time is of essence, especially when you spend it with a person who matters a lot to you. You don't care whether all you do is talk and do nothing! It never matters. Being with that person is enough. It was the same for Severus with Lily.

Listening to her talk, watching her describe things, making her laugh, being friends with her, it was enough.

Those were the memories that Severus never let go of, he always held them close to him. They were his life raft.

But good things never lasted; he had experienced too much to know that.

* * *

The moment he called her a _Mudblood _was when everything just snapped between them. He knew from the flash in her eyes that this time he had gone too far, and he wouldn't be able to pacify her with his lame apologies. She only accepted them because she had wanted to keep their friendship alive, but now he wasn't sure of her thoughts anymore.

And he was right; she had finally decided that it was too much.

He had only uttered the word in pure embarrassment and anger but she didn't see it that way. And in a way, her reasoning was right. Of course it would be! She was Lily Evans!

She never went back on her word.

They had parted ways and she had accepted it.

Only, he never did.

* * *

The worst thing for a man is seeing his love in another man's arms. That is exactly what happened with Severus; Lily Evans was no longer his-he had lost her. She had chosen another path, she had chosen_ someone else_. All this while, he had been hoping to be the one for her, hoping that she would one day see him with different eyes. Even when they had stopped talking he couldn't help but hope. But all his hopes and dreams shattered the very moment he saw her with James Potter. He knew he would hate any man she chose, but James Potter was something else. He had tormented him all his life and she just _had _to go with him!

He couldn't even comfort her when her parents died. How could he? She refused to even look at him. He was all but non-existent to her. But James Potter was there for her, holding her and whispering words which_ he _should be saying. And what pained him even more was watching her hug him back, depending on him. He knew from the way Lily looked at James, that she loved the man. Just as he had hoped and wished she would one day love him.

He wished he could go back in time and make amends.

But it was too late, he knew.

* * *

And then when she was murdered, she took a part of him away with her. Or rather, she had taken it with her ever since they went different ways. But there had been a possibility, a sparse one, but it had been there nevertheless. A possibility that, that part would return to him and they would be friends once more. He wouldn't have asked for more from her, he knew she wouldn't love him back that way he wanted, but her mere presence in his life would be enough.

But she had been taken, no, she had been killed. Severus hated no man ever more than he hated_ Lord Voldemort_; and he knew he would continue to for the rest of his life.

Until his death, or maybe even after that.

That night after she was killed, he visited her home, and the house stood broken. It pained him to go inside, but he did. He had to see her, he wouldn't be able to believe until he saw it for himself; though his heart knew the truth, his eyes wanted to see. Maybe he was a masochistic; whatever he was, he _had _to see.

With trembling feet, he entered the broken house; just between the stairs and the hallway lay James Potter's body: eyes wide open, body rigid. It was almost funny that he had imagined James Potter dead infinite times but now that he really was, he felt nothing but pity. And he wished fervently that Potter had been able to stay alive, because then Lily would have been too.

"Lily," he whispered, and started walk over Potter's body.

His legs felt more and more like lead; he forced himself to walk upstairs. The only living thing he could hear was a baby's cries. The boy was alive; but it didn't register in his mind.

Finally, he reached the doorway, it had been wrenched open. There was a noise coming from within him, and he realized that he was sobbing. It was getting hard to breathe, and he almost completely stopped while taking an agonized breath. He had seen her, lying helpless on the floor. That was all it took for him to finally lose his self. He fell on his knees, howling in pain.

Gathering some strength, he crawled up to her and stroked her cheek. Just like her husband's body, she too was stiff, and her body was starting to get cold.

"Lily…Lil-ly…" he sobbed and pulled her up into his arms. Heavy tears rolled down his face onto her while he stared into her perfect green eyes. But they didn't have that shine in them anymore, everything about her was in her eyes, and they were nothing but_ dead_.

She was gone, she was really gone.

He pulled her up closer, and cried into her shoulder. The last time he had held her was in their fourth year, it was the last year their relationship had been normal. "I love you, I love you so very much…" he told her, sobbing throughout.

But she didn't reply.

She wasn't even there to hear him finally say the words that he had been longing to say, ever since he realized that he loved her. At that time he had been too scared of her reaction, and as years passed on, he was scared of what would happen to her because of her blood status. His fear had ruined everything. He hadn't been able to reveal his true feelings for her; he had simply stood by and let her be taken by someone else.

And now, when he said it, when he could say it repeatedly, she wasn't there to hear it.

He wished more than _anything _to go back in time, and change the future. But he couldn't. All he could do was continue to love her. That night while he held Lily's dead body into his arms, the only thing he knew was that he would never fall for anyone else again.

It was her from the start, and it would forever and always remain her until the end.

* * *

Even though death would have been the easiest option, Severus hadn't chosen that. No, he had wanted to stay alive and make sure Lily didn't sacrifice her life in vain. He loved her too much to just give up.

So he did, he tried _everything _in his power humanly and more possible. Ever since her son stepped into Hogwarts, though he hated him for being James Potter's son and was hell to him, he made sure that the boy lived. He didn't show his true nature to others, just because he couldn't bear to. He preferred being hated to being loved because he wanted to be punished while he lived. He could have saved Lily, but he didn't, so he chose to live in an abyss.

And now, when he looked at his supposed _Master_, the Dark Lord, Lord Voldemort, somehow, he knew it was the end. He tried to save himself, there was one last secret that had to pass but it seemed it wouldn't be able to. It pained him physically that he couldn't! He tried to speak, but the Dark Lord was too possessed to hear him out.

He heard a strange hissing noise, and then the snake pounced on him. He had too little time to react, but he knew of one thing: he was dying. It seemed ironic that the man who killed Lily was the one who would be killing him too.

His body fell from the impact as he started to lose strength. His memories started to float through his mind; he vaguely remembered something about how a dying person's life flashed back. It was true indeed, in slow motion, all his important memories flooded into his mind.

_Lily…_

He saw someone bending over trying to cover his wounds; he realized that it was the boy. Lily's son…Harry, he clutched him with all the left strength in his limbs.

"Take it…take it…" he managed to say. He wasn't dying without completing his life's purpose, and that knowledge gave him strange peace.

Lily…her vibrant red hair…her bright green eyes…Lily…

"Look…at…me…" he whispered, Harry stared at him, his expression held nothing but shock. But Severus's eyes were focused only on his green eyes; it was the only thing he had inherited from his mother…an exact replica of Lily's eyes.

His black eyes stared into the eyes that had given him the reason for life, and at that moment, he knew he had to let go. His grip slacked as his soul left him.

The last thought on his mind had been of Lily.

* * *

**AN: Every time I write about Severus, I just love him more and more. And I know, I will ****_always_**** continue to. Phew, he's just such an amazing character guys, its so hard not to love him. Behind that anger and façade, there's so much pain, hurt and regret. **

**I hope you enjoyed reading this, please do review. =)**


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